today has been filled with mixed emotion, mostly alternating between sadness and anger.
today wasnt supposed to be like this.
have any of you guys ever felt numb, i guess? like anyone could say anything to you, and your only reply would be a blank stare? if you have, then you know exactly how i feel at this point. im really depressed these days. i hate the fact that i just used this as a means to complain and throw myself a little pitty party, so i think im gonna quit posting until i feel better. not sure how long it will be, but as soon as i have something good to write about, youll see it.
Sun, Apr. 25th, 2004, 03:04 pm
i just read my horoscope and it was frighteningly true. i ususally dont pay attention to those things, but i cant ignore this one. it said i was caught in a loop, just as i have written many times in this little thing we call a livejournal, and dwell on what might have been if id done something different and what will be in the future. i rarely pay attention to the here and now. after more thought, i realize this is not good practice. dont get me wrong, i think its good to plan ahead, i guess, but to neglect life as it happens? there's just something about that statement in itself that screams, "wrong". i have decided to try and fix this little error in my thinking. the horoscope suggests doing activies that will provide instant gratification. any ideas?
Sat, Apr. 24th, 2004, 03:29 pm
hey, guys. its been awhile, i know, but i just got around to updating. let's see...what's happened since last time? well, i guess i can start by telling you all that i am the proud owner of the worst haircut ever. i told them i wanted it trimmed. simple enough, right? wrong. before i knew it the lady had clippers, performing the best disappearing act ive ever seen on my hair. not too upset though. it does grow back. im finally completely over my sickness, which is a really good thing. i had stopped going to the gym for fear of it moving to my chest. i kinda turned in to a softy during the whole ordeal. as for the cable job, they never called me back. again, not really upset about it. i had decided i couldnt take it anyway due to the fact that my classes i need for the fall term are only taught during the day. other than that, i guess life is moving along as usual. i dont really have any outstanding problems or dilemmas that i can think of but i still feel like im missing something. like im supposed to be worrying about something that i have neglected to worry about? i dont know. if that's the case, im sure it will pop up later.
Sat, Apr. 17th, 2004, 06:58 pm
So ive been wishing for death the past few days cause im a total bitch and have been sick. its finally slacked off into being just a congested annoyance, thank god.
and in other news, i had an interview with charter communications thursday, for a cable installer position. that doesnt sound like much, but it is a major step up in life after the military. it means free cable and internet, company truck, free nextel, and no more crazy cop wannabe uniforms. i wont know anything til next week so im keeping my fingers crossed.
that's about all that i have that would be even close to classifying as new happenings, so im gonna end here.
......2 arms, and lives in the ghetto? me. i feel like those cats on boys in the hood. imma make it one day momma.
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then, I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
.......i am the first person in history to fail first aid. that is how i will be introducing myself cause i cant get my lazy ass up and go to class. ive only been once since sring break has ended. i lose at life.